I want to grow up. I want to become completely independent. I want to be able to make drastic changes in my life without the need to consult someone first. I want to be able to act on things in the way a typical 19 year old in my situation would. But as I attempt to grow up and conquer those things I run into road blocks. Whether it’s people, past mistakes, distance, or whatever it gets in the way. I’m trying to get my shit together and for the most part I feel like I’ve succeeded. I’m getting great grades, I’m taking control of my social life, and am making steps towards correcting past mistakes, but I am still lacking in certain aspects of my life. Sometimes I feel like I’m not acting my age which can be viewed as both a good and bad thing, but the truth is I do want to grow up. Sometimes I just wish those annoying negative factors would just make it a bit easier on me.